CRAIG
WHY
UGH

FUCK CRAIG

A loving tribute to our friend Craig, who tests the limits of our patience on a daily basis.

REASONS WE HATE CRAIG

🍕

Always Eats the Last Slice

Craig has a sixth sense for when there's exactly one slice of pizza left and will teleport across the room to claim it.

Annoyance Level 95%
🎮

Controller Thrower

Loses every video game and blames the controller, the TV, the universe - everyone but himself.

Annoyance Level 88%
📱

Phone Addict

Could be having the time of his life but will still check his phone every 30 seconds for absolutely no reason.

Annoyance Level 92%
🎵

Terrible DJ

Thinks playing the same 3 songs on repeat makes him a music connoisseur with "eclectic taste."

Annoyance Level 85%
💬

Story Topper

Whatever you did, Craig did it bigger, better, and with more "struggle" - according to him.

Annoyance Level 97%

Always Late

Shows up 45 minutes late saying "traffic was crazy" when he lives 5 minutes away.

Annoyance Level 100%

CRAIG'S GREATEST DISASTERS

MAR
2024

The Great BBQ Incident

Craig tried to impress everyone by "fixing" the BBQ grill and ended up setting fire to the backyard fence.

Disaster Level: 8/10 Comedy Level: 9/10
🔥
FEB
2024

Karaoke Catastrophe

Insisted on singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" despite never hearing it before. The bar still hasn't recovered.

Disaster Level: 7/10 Comedy Level: 10/10
🎤
JAN
2024

The IKEA Assembly Nightmare

Spent 8 hours assembling a simple bookshelf only to realize he used the wrong instructions. It fell apart immediately.

Disaster Level: 6/10 Comedy Level: 8/10
🔧

INTERACTIVE TORTURE CHAMBER

SLAM CRAIG BUTTON

Click to release your anger on Craig!
Global Slams
0

CRAIG-O-METER

ANNOYING
Annoying Frustrating Infuriating Existential Threat
Level 1: Slightly Annoying
Craig hasn't even had coffee yet
Your Contribution
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WHY CRAIG SUCKS CALCULATOR

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CRAIG CRIME DATABASE

Report a New Craig Crime

Recent Craig Crimes

TIME CRIME Just now

Craig said "5 minutes" but meant "2 hours"

Severity: Moderately Infuriating

CRAIG COUNTER

0
Times Late
0
Excuses Made
0
Things Ruined
0
Days Since Last Incident

COMMUNITY WALL OF HATE

CONFESSION WALL

"Craig once tried to fix my WiFi and made my toaster stop working."

- Anonymous Victim

CRAIG HATE MAIL

Send Craig a message he'll never read!

Messages sent: 0

WANTED POSTER

WANTED
Name: CRAIG
Crimes: Being Craig
Reward: Peace and Quiet

CRAIG BINGO CARD

Check off squares when Craig does Craig things. First to get 5 in a row wins... nothing, because Craig probably ruined the prize.

GAMES & ACTIVITIES

CATCH CRAIG GAME

Score: 0
Time: 30s

CRAIG SOUNDBOARD

Click to play Craig's greatest hits (simulated for your protection)

CRAIG TRACKER - LAST SIGHTINGS

Last Pizza Place
Stealing the last slice
2 minutes ago
Traffic Jam
Making everyone late
5 minutes ago
Your Couch
Breaking something expensive
Right now

ADVANCED CRAIG TECHNOLOGY

CRAIG AI CHATBOT

Hi! I'm Craig AI. I'm here to be unhelpful and make everything worse. How can I not assist you today?

CRAIG CAM - NEXT DISASTER COUNTDOWN

00:00:00
Until Craig's next inevitable disaster
Predicted Disaster:
Setting fire to toast

CRAIG HORROR SCOPE

Today Craig will discover a new way to ruin everyone's plans. Mercury may be in retrograde, but Craig is permanently in catastrophe mode.
Love Life
Disaster
Work
Productive Chaos
Money
Broke Again

CRAIG ROAST GENERATOR

Click the button to generate a Craig roast!